No, really...

Break-up lines from various philosophical schools

Wonderful, funny list of break-up lines grounded in different philosophical schools.

The Teleologist: We aren't meant for each other. (P.K.)
The Deontologist: We aren't right for each other. (P.K.)
The Consequentialist: We aren't optimal for each other. (P.K.)
The Solipsist: It's not you, it's me. (P.K.)
The Empiricist: I think we should see other people. (P.K.)
The Rationalist: I'm not a priority to you any more. (P.K.)
The Rationalist, v 2.0: I've been doing some thinking... (Paul Audi)
The Rationalist, v. 3.0: If you can't see your faults, there's nothing more I can say. (P.K.)
The Content Externalist: Ever since we moved, you've changed. (Paul Audi)

@BB