Quien lo iba a decir

Sigo aqui, no me he ido... No me decido a borrar las últimas estupideces porque sirven de testigo del hecho que durante todos estos días semanas meses y años? me he dedicado a anestesiarme con esa anestesia de la que trae todo el mundo pero lógicamente no funciona y no funciona de tal manera que he decidido quitarme la dosis no mas anestesia sobre todo no mas anestesia no mas anestesia no mas anestesia no mas anestesia no mas anestesia no mas anestesia because i am going insane when i sww your face when i read your lips when i dream of you walking by her side when i caught you on dreams when you fly on my moon then i cannot think i cannot live i cannot be myself or anybody.... no mas anestesia basta meanlingless meaningless meaningless tortured soul i used to care or maybe i never did i have a missing teeth, i have to missing teeth i have a no life, i am not sure of anything i cant think i cant i am going crazy i am starting to fade i am not in control i am colapsing why why why why why why oh why ooooooooooomother of god i am going insane what do i need what do i do how do i do it when how where what help i need help i need help i need halp i am gonna say somebody hacked this blog i am ashamed of what i am writing but i have to i must i am going crazy crazy crazy black coffee doritos what is that starbucks coffee and doritos i could hang myself right here in the office noone should know does somebody still gives a shit? i cant stop i cant stop i do not want to stop should i take pills should i go poutside naked running to the sun, should i go and retreat should i cry in the graveyard of you, of him, of everyone....no peace of mind no heaven no hell no black holes no nothingness no meaning no nothing no everything one heart pounding thats all