February 12, 2005

Something beautiful

Have you seen the sky today? It is so beautiful that it almost hurts.

I hope you had. And I also hope you are being loved this day.

I wonder what happens with the love that is not delivered, since I decided to stop fighting against what I feel and let my heart love you, even though it is the more scariest thing I have ever done, even though I will be not loved back.

It is funny, what I feel.

I have cried less. Altought I have sudden explotions. But I am more calm, more seren. Well, only a little more, to be honest. Most of the time I need to run to whatever you are. Most of the time I feel this endless love is going to kill me.

But what will happen with it, with the undelivered love? What is it, anyway? An illusion? There is a sentence... "What have you done for me to love you?" that is spinning in my head all the time, and seems like needles in my heart, or a hammer always hitting, stabbing something deeper and deeper into my soul.

There is another: "Love is selfish". I dont know. I just dont know. I wish I knew what to do. All I know is I love you, and I will not fight it. Maybe it fades with time, maybe it dies like a flower, a flower whom bigger stupidity was to be born in the wrong time, in the wrong place. Oh but flowers die all the time, dont they? Maybe all these undelivered love will transform me in a tree.

Trees last. Trees are strong.

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